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what’s wrong?

Hey!!How are you guys doing? I have been so busy these days you know it’s the end of the year and now is the time you have to complete all the work that you have been procrastinating to do but what so ever I was feeling quite low this week and had a really deep weird conversation about life with my best friend as we were discussing I thought that I should share some part of it here on my blog and hopefully someone can relate.

People often ask “what’s wrong” or  “Is everything okay” when they notice that you look puzzled but I just reply with “nothing” and make sure they believe me but today I have an answer for this question:

Standing ….I just keep twisting the ring on my finger.

Sometimes I feel like I can conquer the world and that I have everything and everyone and sometimes I feel like I have nothing, like a man standing in the middle of a desert all alone and you know what I am tired really tired that I just want this time to stop and let be breath let me live cause I always feel like I am in a game, the timer is going on and I am going to lose this game called life and if you have anxiety you can probably relate to my next line “It’s probably my fault” yes I feel like this about everything and even about situations that I don’t even link up with but still my brain it keeps reminding me that I am the reason “This” took place.

While saying all of this let me say that I am not sad or unhappy, I am happy I have people who love, understand and support me and I am grateful for them and that’s why I am writing this because a lot of people think that if I have anxiety I cannot be happy and trust me it’s not like that at least for me I do feel the above things but I am happy in my life too I have people who care for me and support me in my hard times but there and times when I feel low when I feel like I am all alone and that everyone is going to leave me and that is anxiety for me maybe that’s not what you feel or you think but here I am just tell how I feel and maybe you can relate to some parts of it.

if you have any suggestions or questions please drop them in the comment box.

Instagram: theanonymousgirlwrites

Twitter: @anonymousgirlbg
Simply me.

 

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If something bad happens something good will come out of it.

I lost my best friend. All my school life I had one best friend we were friends from the first day of school and we stuck together for thirteen years. we were great friends. You must be thinking wow a friendship of that many years must be so strong and I was thinking the same thing but well……

When people come up to you and say that either they are “done” with you or that the friendship or relationship is “over” it hurts, you feel miserable you feel like someone stabbed a knife through your heart but you know what hurts the most or more is that when someone doesn’t even think that you are important enough for the last good bye, when some just doesn’t give a damn, when someone knows that they are hurting you and making you  cry every night but they still don’t care.Yeah something just like that happen with me and I don’t even know why and what really happened I just know that one day my best friend stopped talking to me.It all started when we both decided to chose different High schools as I was in a private school and she wanted to go for a government school but I never thought that that would affect our friend ship I thought we will still hangout or at least talk but suddenly she stopped talking to me and I tried to know why but her cold reaction was enough to break me into pieces I felt alone I felt like it will never be the same again and that I would never trust someone. And this all made me realize that just like there are toxic relationships there are toxic friendships too and I was in one, but I got out of it I left that chapter of my book and moved on and no it was not easy it took me six months but I did move on and I don’t want to be in that situation again.

But the real reason I am writing this blog is not to tell you my story but the reason is to share that things changed and how I went from feeling alone to feeling blessed. so after some months I started my high school and I was not there to get new friends but these last three months of my life made me realize that “if something bad happens something good will for sure come in return” I found a friend or I would really like to say my best friend, at first I could not trust anyone to be my new best friend to be anything for me but he really proved that there are still good people out there and that time really doesn’t matter in friendships because someone who you are friends with from years can really break you and someone you know only from a few weeks can change the way you look at situations.

I thought I should share this as you might be going through something similar but just know that the world doesn’t end there you have other people who care about you and who can understand you it might be hard right now but it will get better.

It has been a month.

It has been a month that I haven’t posted anything not even on my instagram I don’t know if some has noticed that in this sea of people of the internet but well I am back and this is my post explaining what was going on so there are two main reasons to not post because firstly my uncle was really ill and he passed away (RIP) which was kind of hard to accept and the second reason is  that the same week I had my midterm exams which to be honest went bad and I  am worried about grades, this is  all that happed in 3 weeks but last week I was having a writer’s block I mean I had Ideas and all but I just couldn’t focus. and following is just my rant about life:

Life is just getting so weird day by day that people don’t even have time to stop and think about what is happening around them or with them or they don’t even realize what they are really doing but we all are just doing something and we don’t know the reason behind it we are just doing it because we have to and this is our life but in my opinion waking up everyday doing the same thing again and again is not what life is, life is way more than just barely living or life is more that just being okay and fine and if you think for me life would be expensive cars and big houses then you are wrong for me life is “moving” and by that I mean that I don’t want my life to be stuck in one simple routine I want to have fun and laugh about stupid things, I don’t want expensive abroad vacations but want to make people smile and yes I know that is such a cheesy and over used line but in a nut shell I want to be happy and that I want to LIVE my life .

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Anxious…

Hey guys hope you are doing well. These past few days I have been really anxious it’s not like I feel like this every day, I mean some days are good but some days are worst. Today I felt like I needed some kind of outlet to let these feelings go so for me this blog was my first choice. So these are a few words which somewhat show how I feel:

“I am sacred, sacred of everything thing that don’t even exist and trust me  its hard and  it gets harder when my hands start to shake my heart rate goes really fast…it gets harder when my hands get sweaty and there are tears down my eyes but….it gets harder when I am scared and it feels like I am trapped and I just cannot move but this, this is not it…it gets harder when I feel like I am all alone in a room full of people, people who just don’t give a damn but trust me ,trust me it gets harder when you feel like you’re are going crazy or you are worth less but it gets the hardest when people just don’t understand…..”

It’s hard to be alright,

It’s hard to be a part of this fight.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to even smile,

But somehow I have to show that I am fine.

Cause it’s hard for people to understand,

So let them believe that you are in a wonderland,

Cause it’s hard to not pretend.

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Theanonymousgirlwrites

if you have any suggestions or questions please drop them in the comment box.

Instagram: theanonymousgirlwrites

Twitter: @anonymousgirlbg
Simply me.

 

After school routine.

Hey guys!! Today I have a back to school blog for you personally I love back to school season it’s like new start or basically a new year. This year I am trying to stick to a routine so I can be more productive. Now here is what I do after school until I sleep.

  1. lunch/snack:

So usually come home at 3:00pm and by that time I get really hungry as I don’t like to eat at school I go of a proper lunch at home instead of a snack so I can focus on other things throughout the day.

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  1. Go on my socials:

After lunch I go straight to my room and like any other teenager I scroll through every social media app I have on my phone or just take a nap or read a book.

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  1. Study:

After sometime I start doing my homework or my assignments then I go through whatever I did in school that day and make notes about them.

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  1. Dinner:

Usually I study for about 4 hours straight and after that I have no energy left so I eat dinner watch some you-tube videos  and start preparing for the next day like putting books in my bag or ironing my uniform etc…

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  1. Shower:

I am a shower at night type of a person so I take showers every other night.

  1. Sleep.

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If you have any questions or suggestions drop them in the comment box below.

Instagram: theanonymousgirlwrites
Twitter: @anonymousgirlbg
Simply me.

I was scared!!!

Hello everybody! Today’s blog was quite hard to write because I normally do not like to say that I am was scared but I decided to write about it because I think It might help some people .So it was my first day of 11th grade (on 1 august) the night before I was sitting on my bed thinking about a million things at once my brain was full of questions like “how to make friends?” “what type of people I am going to meet?” what teachers I am going to get?” or “if people will think I am not good enough or not”  and one thing that was buzzing me more than anything was that I am not capable of sitting with these people but then I took a deep breath as it was too much to take  and said the following lines out loud in front of a mirror “ you are worth it and nobody can say that you are not capable because you are.” I kept repeating this until I felt confidant but this was not enough, I felt confidant but still I was worried about making friends as i don’t like to talk strangers or basically people (face to face).This thought kept me awake the whole nigh but in the morning I was too nervous to feel tired. As I entered the college building I see people smiling and talking to each other then these two girls came to me and asked my name and what classes i am talking and from their I realized that in the end everything falls into place and even if you don’t find friends right away just trust the timing of your life. I know it’s the start of school year and everybody is going back to school which can be a bit scary but if you don’t feel confident then fake it, I was reading girl online just few days before my school and I got this Idea of alter ego so if you feel really anxious you try that method (and I would totally recommend reading online girl).I hope you are doing great i kind of pissed as people are still on their summer holidays while i am studying.Are you still on vacation? Let me know in the comment box below.

If you have any questions or suggestions drop them in the comment box below.

Instagram: theanonymousgirlwrites
Twitter: @anonymousgirlbg
Simply me.

 

Getting into reading?!!

Hey guys!! Today as you can tell by the title I realized that I am getting into reading so first I have to tell you that I am not much of a reader I mean I read blogs and a few books here and there but not a lot of them. last week I got the book “Fangirl” by “Rainbow Rowell” from my local book shop in paperback quality as I don’t read much so I didn’t really want to buy a hard cover book, I really like the book and her writing style so got two more “attachments” and “landline” both by “Rainbow Rowell” also I really want to read “Eleanor and park”. If you can suggest any other writer or books please comment below or on my instagram my user name is “theanonymousgirlwrites”.

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Thank you so much for reading and if you have any questions or suggestions leave tell in the comment box.

Instagram: theanonymousgirlwrites

Twitter: @anonymousgirlbg

Simply me.

 A Big Celebration!!!

Hey there!! So this week or last four days I have been sooooo busy because it’s EID! Oh god yesterday like about 20 guests came and it was hectic but a lot of fun like meeting your family, the food and presents it’s like Christmas. so for those people who don’t really know what eid is it is a holiday of Muslims which comes after Ramadan (holy month).we fast for 29 or 30 days in Ramadan and then as a present for fasting we celebrate eid in which everybody wears new clothes, apply henna, pray, eat lots of sweets etc and all the elders give presents or money (eidi) to everyone.And the most exciting thing is today my friends are coming its been so long since i last met them, Really miss them 😦

As I have been eating a lot of sweets and drinking a lot of sodas in the last month so  I was thinking to not have any sweets or chocolate and sodas for the next month I think it will be a bit hard for me as I love chocolates I will keep you guys updated on that.

Thanks for reading if you have any questions or suggestions leave them in the comment box.

Instagram : theanonymousgirlwrites

Twitter : @anonymousgirlbg

Simply me.

FACTS ABOUT ME

This is my second blog so I decided to tell some facts about myself.

  1. I am fifteen years old.
  2. I am obsessed with you tube.
  3. I love chai tea.
  4. I am a directioner.
  5. i am not stage confident but I am not shy in general.
  6. I believe in god.
  7. i have hazel eyes
  8. I love to draw but I don’t draw really well.

Thank you so much for reading and if you have any questions or suggestions leave them in the comment box.

Simply me.

MY FIRST BLOG

ABOUT MY BLOG

Hey! So I have been planning to make my own blog from a long time and today finally I am here. As an introduction to my blog I would like you to tell what kind of blogs I am going to post, so for the most part I am not going to post daily or weekly as I don’t think that my life is that exciting but I will try my best to post at least once a week I will mostly blog about what I did in the following week or if something happened etc and I think I am going to post some facts about me or favorites. If you have some suggestions you can leave them in the comment box.

ABOUT ME

Hey. I am simply me a girl from Pakistan who is going share her life with you, sad and happy here on my blog. I am fifteen I just gave my tenth grade exams. I have two best friends. I live a pretty simple life with my parents and two sisters and hope you would like to join this is journey with me.

Thanks for reading

simply me